Communicating Your Message

Have you ever sent a message only to find out it was received completely the opposite of your intent? Lately, I have done that and it can be embarrassing, not to mention quite frustrating. I thought it would be a great time to brush up on my communication skills. Hopefully these tips will be helpful to you, as well.

Thinking about your message:

1. Be certain the message is true and well reasoned.
2. Substantiate the message using solid logic that is specific, consistent, clear and accurate.

Writing your message:

1. Condense communication to essential facts.
2. Put it into a form the receiver can understand.
3. Once the message is received and understood, a comprehensive discussion begins.

Sending your message:

• Create clear communication channels.
• Must be understood and supported by the entire organization.
• Be certain all pertinent information is included each time you communicate.
• Continue to remain concise.
• Select the right communication medium.
• This influences the effectiveness of a message.

It helps to make the communication about others:

• Avoid making it about you (your opinions, your positions or your circumstances).
• Address the audience’s needs.
• Show understanding for their concerns and add value to their world.

Peace to you and yours - Jackie

Leadership Success

I believe successful leaders create positive change by helping people see what is achievable and working with them to get there. I am continuously working on my leadership skills and have a few tips to share (as a review for myself, as well).

Understanding & Valuing Roles 

• Each team member needs to understand his or her role in upholding your mission. 
• Value and show appreciation for the roles others play in the organization.

Managing as a Team 

• Management needs to build on each other’s strengths, while communicating respectfully and honestly. 
• The ability to challenge one another requires trust, and when done appropriately produces excellent outcomes.

Open Communication 

• Opportunities for sharing ideas need to be accessible for all team members to be involved. 
• True open communication requires that people feel safe when making their ideas known. 
• Everybody needs to trust they will be heard.

Avoid Micromanaging 

• Build agreement of what equals success. 
• Be sure team members understand their roles and have the right tools to conduct their duties. 
• Focus on results, not how they were achieved. 
• It’s not about doing it your way, but about successful completion of the task. 
• Ask for and be open to feedback, so you can regulate your level of assistance.

Fix What Needs Fixing, Not What Works 

• If something truly works, leave it alone. 
• Focus on the things that are not working. 

When it comes to advice about successful leadership, there are many theories and opinions that are beneficial. Please share yours!

Peace to you and yours - Jackie

Respectful Disagreement

I was reading some Facebook posts recently and was dismayed by the generalized, sweeping comments about groups of people when someone is not in agreement with that group. Rather than ignoring the feelings this brought out in me, I decided to put my thoughts to good use in a blog post about respectful disagreement.

We don’t all agree on everything. There, I said it! You know what, it’s perfectly fine that we do not agree when communicating with others: often disagreements are what broaden our world. Is there a way to disagree more respectfully? I think the following tips will help anyone who is interested in respectful disagreement.

• Avoid making it personal. If you are upset about something someone has done or said, try to take the personal feelings out of it and remember that you are mad at the idea the person is raising (not the person).

• Use “I” statements. When communicating how you feel, avoid using “you” statements. For example, telling someone you are not comfortable being pressured for a decision can be stated as, “I am feeling pressure to make a decision about something I am not ready to move on at this time. Can we please shelf this until later?”  

• Do not put down someone else’s ideas and beliefs. Resisting the temptation to berate someone or make derogatory comments will help you get your point across instead of making someone so mad they are unable to hear your argument.

• Use respectful language and tone. Our use of language not only affects the way we view ourselves, but the way others see us. Consider putting those good manners our families taught us to good use.

• Listen to the other point of view. By listening to every possible side of the story, not only are you more educated about a certain topic, but you can better defend your stance as well.

• Remain calm. It isn't easy trying to keep negative emotions under control during a disagreement. Our fight-or-flight instincts flare, as we impose our will over the other person or give up and leave the discussion. Having a disagreement with someone can be a healthy way to a solution if everyone is able to remain calm.

• Make it a habit. The more often we are respectful in our disagreements; the more it becomes a habit. As agreeable interactions become natural, the more frequent they will occur.

Everyone involved benefits from the positive outcomes associated with being respectful when we disagree.

Peace to you and yours - Jackie

Liking Yourself

I was thinking about what I like about myself and what traits I am working to improve. What are the common threads that have added to my self-esteem? What I have found – is the more I care about others; the more I care about myself.

Think about a person whose personality appeals to you. Someone you find very likeable. What do you like most about this person? I’d be willing to bet that it isn't physical appearance or achievements, but rather the way he or she treats others.

If it’s a healthy self-esteem you desire, treat others well. The way you treat others makes you likable, even to yourself.

If there is something you’d like to improve about yourself, take baby steps to make changes. It’s healthy to make adjustments and grow… just be certain to like yourself along the way.

And remember, the more you care about others the more you'll be able to care about yourself. 

Peace to you and yours - Jackie